I'm a few weeks into using EFT for myself now. It's without question the most powerful and effective healing tool I've come across. For physical pain it has proved itself consistently more effective than any chemical kind of pain relief (for both of us). But EFT's effectiveness on emotional issues is nothing less than profound. It can facilitate the kind of changes that our culture has led us to believe are impossible. The things EFT makes possible are not the sorts of thing you can tell people; it sounds like nonsense. A person has to experience EFT themselves, and feel it work.
My husband was fine with EFT until he realised it would mean digging up the past. Sometimes we think we have dealt with something, but it is still there. My husband was quite sure he had dealt with the "demons" that came out of his being bullied and racially abused as a child - and on one level he certainly had - but on another level (his subconscious) he hasn't. Our subconscious mind controls more than our conscious mind ever can, especially in terms of our automatic emotional responses. We haven't had any effective way of rewriting the software of our subconscious minds before now - counseling, for example, makes you aware of why you react the way you do, but is close to useless in helping you change those reactions. I've found EFT to be brilliant for this, by comparison. In the last couple of weeks, backing up what I was learning through EFT, I read Bruce Lipton's The Biology of Belief; an astonishing, eye-opening book if ever there was one. Here, a cell biologist explains the science behind my new appreciation that we can choose not to be the helpless victims of our childhoods, or of our "incurable" illnesses, or of our DNA.
I found EFT only, in the first instance, because I was looking for us to find a way out of my husband's illness. Not just the depression which goes along with ME, but the ME itself. And is the ME lifting? The answer is yes, but not because my husband is practicing EFT himself. I've been doing EFT daily on myself, but in the last two weeks I've also been tapping surrogately for him (now that I've a better grasp on the whole thing), because he felt "unready" to go any further with EFT after initially finding it very helpful for symptom relief.
If you don't understand how EFT works, I'm sure this'll sound weird, but towards on Wednesday last week I tapped for his fear of whatever it is that is stopping him from doing EFT, and within hours it all came out (which wasn't, for me, a pain-free experience; be careful what you wish/tap for!). The upshot - his revelation that he no longer trusts me since I wasn't able to stop working when he needed me to - is not easy to deal with. But now that it has been acknowledged, it has cleared the ground between us. We've had a weekend of being closer together and he feels ready to move forward.
He is already a lot better (i.e. less exhausted, less allergic, less in pain, less clouded by brain-fog) than he was a few weeks ago. He openly wondered at the weekend whether part of this was due to the fact that I had been working on him remotely (he understands how and why that is possible) and I admitted that I had. He wasn't upset about this; he was enjoying feeling better, and he'd already intuitively worked out where some of that might be coming from. He has now decided to pick up EFT again and start working actively on clearing the ME himself.
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4 comments:
I'm really pleased EFT is working so well for you. Following your last post I looked at the same site and downloaded the manual.
I have taught myself the basics and tried it out. I don't seem to be having the same success as you however: it makes little difference, even though I have started small and will work up to bigger issues to do with my own ME.
Hope it continues to progress for you both
Your blog is a real help to me. I have a dear friend, whose daughter has ME , she is 16 and seems always to be getting worse. She has had it for over 2 years now. Of course my friend is doing everything possible with her husband to help her daughter, but has been resistant to looking at the possibility of anything alternative.... anyway I sent her your blog link and mentioned about tapping which I had done some of myself. I thought as with everything else she would merely bin the information but thank me. Instead she took a day course in it and has been tapping her daughter, herself and her husband periodically. Of course some days she doesn't want to bring on the emotions she so desperately wants to keep at bay, and so doesn't tap. Still, there seems a chink of light for me that she has taken on EFT to some level. And that is all down to you and your amazingly brave heroic struggle and your blog. I wish you all the best and hope that you will find your way back to your husband, and he to health.
Cusp, I'm sorry you haven't had much success so far, but I hope you'll keep on trying with EFT, as persistence is sometimes required. It seems much harder to do EFT on yourself when you have ME (my husband reports this too) - and that makes sense, given that every cell on your body is struggling to produce the energy it needs.
I don't know if there's anyone ME-free in your life who might be interested in learning about EFT and be prepared to tap on you/with you - I suspect that might help - but if not, you can find support on the chronic diseases forum at emofree.com.
Not everyone gets results at first, and there are things you can try like making sure you are fully hydrated, and also changing your environment - some people are highly sensitive to the electro-magnetic fields emitted by computers, mobile phones, television etc.
I hope you'll keep reading (I find the Insights newsletters really helpful for tips and ideas) as much, at least, as you can manage. (I don't know if you get brainfog but this is certainly one of the things that made it difficult for my husband to get into EFT.)
I can also recommend the EFT DVDs which are really good value (I chose 3 different sets, which is about 24 hours of instruction for only £68 including the postage from the US). These might be worth considering, particularly if reading is a strain.
I hope you'll start making some headway with it soon. I'll try to send some positive energy in your direction!
Wordstar, thank you, I'm really pleased to hear my experiences have been of help to another family suffering ME. It's great to hear that your friend has taken this on - it sounds really positive. And makes me think, again, what a force for good the internet can be.
I completely understand about your friend's need to shy away, when she's feeling vulnerable, from some of the emotions that can be uncovered; we can only do what we're comfortable with. The application of EFT requires a certain amount of gentleness and trusting one's instincts and intuition. But it sounds like she's heading in the right direction, and I'm sure she and her daughter and husband will continue to reap the benefits. Let me know how things develop.
Your good wishes are very much appreciated. Thank you for contributing such an uplifting comment. It's good to (virtually!) meet you.
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