One of the things that used to really get to me about my husband's ME is that I couldn't do anything about it. No matter how hard I tried to help him, I couldn't make him better. I felt so helpless (and hopeless) in the face of this relentless illness that for the last two years I have often avoided being with him when he has been at his most ill because hanging around his ME was so frustrating and depressing.
Particularly, I'd be working (I work from home) and would hear him having a sneezing or coughing fit - a sure sign that he was having a bad day and getting worse - and I would just try to blank it out and plough on with my work, knowing that when I emerged, he would most likely be angry and miserable. I knew he would want me to stop and take over the childcare, but I was resistant. ME would have me doing childcare 24/7, and who would earn a living, pay the bills? I did what I could but I also felt that what I could was pretty much nothing. Barring giving up my life completely, what could I do? ME had already swallowed his life - I'd be damned if it swallowed mine too. Damned if we fell into debt for it, lost the house. And anyway, it seemed that no matter how much I looked after our daughter, my husband would continue to be chronically ill.
EFT has changed all that, because now I feel there is something I can do that genuinely helps. When I hear him sneezing, or notice some other symptom that is the start of the daily downhill slide, I stop what I am doing, go to him, sit him down, and encourage him to do some EFT. He feels cared for, I feel useful, and above all, we have something that helps him feel almost immediately better.
Last night he had a severe headache; when I got in I relieved it with EFT in minutes. As always seems to happen after a late session of EFT, he then relaxed into an unusually deep and solid sleep, which helps him enormously. It is my goal to tap him every evening if I can for just this reason, if I can.
He's doing a little EFT himself but it seems much more effective when I tap him than when he taps himself, and I'm very happy to be in the position of "healer" rather than "person running away and exacerbating the illness." There is a long way to go, of course - and we are miles away from core issues, which he will come to when he feels ready - but for now we have drug-free instantaneous pain-relief, refreshing sleep and healing at our fingertips.
EFT is empowering - not only because it's so good to be able to help him, but because it helps me banish my own negativity and health problems, leaving me more able to cope with anything extra his ME might need me to deal with. So even though he is still unwell, he is a great deal better than he was a couple of weeks ago, and I am thrilled to be instrumental in healing him.
I am hopeful that he will be considerably better by Christmas. Time will tell.
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