We've been having a bad couple of days; the first bad patch for 8 weeks. There are numerous reasons (aren't there always) but chief amongst them have been my husband's struggling to complete some work that he took on months ago, and some emotional fragility on my side brought on as the result of my trying to tackle some of my long-standing demons with EFT.
The EFT started with me, and my husband feels strongly (and I've now agreed) that I'll have to work on myself first, and my husband second. I have a huge backlog of issues from my past that mean I react badly to many of the things that ME throws up in our lives. EFT is really helpful in allowing me to deal with those issues as they arise, but it seems a whole pile of ancient history is arising now, practically queuing up to be dealt with, and as I have also taken on pretty much 100% of the household chores, I've been feeling quite overloaded at times, and have reacted badly, a couple of times, to my husband snapping at me when he is tired.
Recovery from ME is not a smooth path, so this isn't a setback. In the end, I hope it will prove to have been a positive development, a way of making progress. I'm desperate for my husband to be well again, but desperation is a negative emotion, and creates a sense of pressure. So I'll see if I can tap away my desperation, as well as many of the other negative emotions that loving a man with ME brings up in me - all of which are rooted in my childhood (where I was routinely misunderstood and underappreciated).
I'm still very sure that EFT is going to be our way out of this. It's remarkably powerful, and I feel the benefit of it every day. Yesterday, some melted plastic dripped onto my thumb knuckle when I was stoking a fire, and even though it blistered up instantly, I managed to tap away the pain in less than a minute. Emotional pain is more knotty and multi-faceted, but I am making progress there too, piece by piece, event by event. It's just going to take some time. And when I'm more solid, I'll be in a much better place to help the man I love.
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5 comments:
i'm so happy that you've found something that seems to be of active help .. cosmos has a way of revealing paths, eh?
Thanks, Shell. Yes, it seems so.
Dear Wife of Brian
I came across your blog a couple of months ago while doing some research, and I was (and continue to be) very moved by your entries.
Having seen CFS/ME all ends-up, both as a patient and practitioner, I really empathise with the strain you are under and I think you are coping remarkably well (even if you don't always feel it).
I'm glad you are having success with EFT. There is something else I want to suggest, which you can take or leave as you wish. You are, of course, correct that the mitochondria are effected in this illness, but there are many different reasons as to how and why, and there is now a test available which can answer that. It actually measures mitochondrial ATP. I don't have any relationship with the people who offer the test, but it's something I use myself and it has been very useful.
Have a look at this website (not mine), a link to the test is at the bottom:
http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/article.cfm?id=381
With very best wishes
MJ
Thanks MJ, that's really interesting - I'll have a look at it.
I'm realy interested in your experience with EFT. My herbalist is also a great believer in EFT and has been encouraging me to try it. Just before the school hols I had a look at the site you mentioned but, ironically, the demands of hols and two children at home has meant I haven't had time to give it my full attention. I planned to have another look when they go back next week.
It sounds like, besides your husband's condition and his own suffering, the whole business brings up all sorts of stuff for you too so maybe you're right about trying to heal yourself and become more expert in how EFT works before you do more work with him.
Whatever, I hope that progress contiues and I will be back to hear how it goes for you both.
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